Have you ever listened to the way you talk to yourself? Do you find yourself saying things that you would never say to a friend? Or even worse things that if someone else said to you you might punch them (but luckily you’re saved now)?
It's something we all do, but how often do we stop to think about the words we're using with the person we spend the most time with...
ourselves? Let’s talk about why it is so important to talk nice to ourselves.
We Are Our First Friend
Before we learn our names, we become our first and forever friend. This friendship shapes everything – our confidence, perspective, and overall disposition. Just like any important relationship, it deserves love and care.
We Hear Our Voice More Than Anyone Else's
Our inner voice is always with us. We hear it more than any other voice in the world. So, it's crucial to make sure it's a kind and supportive one. What we tell ourselves matters because it shapes our reality.
We Say Things to Ourselves We Would Never Say to Anyone Else
Can you imagine saying some of the things you say to yourself to a friend? We’d never be so harsh! We need to start treating ourselves with the same compassion and understanding that we extend to others.
How to Be a Better Friend to Ourselves
Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, is evolving, and is a constant work in progress.
Set Healthy Boundaries: Protect your energy by saying no to things that drain you and yes to things that uplift you even if that means saying no to yourself!
Celebrate Your Achievements: Take time to acknowledge your wins, big or small. Dance party, ice cream anyone?
What to Do When We're Not Talking Nice to Ourselves
Pause and Reflect: When you catch yourself in negative self-talk, take a moment to pause and consider why you are saying this. Understanding the root can help you talk nice in the future.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: Actively challenge and reframe negative thoughts. Ask yourself if you’d say the same thing to a friend. If not, find kinder words.
Practice Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness activities like deep breathing, meditation, or journaling. Staying present helps reduce the power of negative thoughts.
Why Are We So Hard on Ourselves and What to Do About It
Cultural and Societal Influences: We often take on societal pressures and unrealistic standards. Recognize these influences and set goals that are true to you.
Fear of Failure: Fear of failure can make us our own worst critics. Embrace a growth mindset. See failures as opportunities to learn and grow.
Early Life Experiences: Our early experiences shape our inner dialogue. Reflect on these influences and work to replace negative messages with positive ones.
Remember, you are worthy of the love and kindness you so freely give to others.
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